Thursday, October 23, 2008

Idealist Opportunist

I am constantly analyzing and evaluating my life as I live it, my purpose and my entire existence. I struggle with where I am vs where I want to be. My biological clock haunts me when I let my mind wander, and I'm unsure as to whether I should feel defeated or liberated by the empty chaos that I see as my life.

My cousin recently wrote a blog about how she is neither an optimist or a pessimist, but an opportunist. She used the age-old metaphor of the glass of water: Is it half-empty or half-full? And guess what she said ... "Half-empty"! But she followed that pessimistic view with "I wasn't focusing on what was missing, per se – I was focusing on the potential of what else we could put in the glass. There was room for more – room for improvement."

I identified with this outlook immediately, and that made me see myself in a slightly different light. It made me feel grounded, like I wasn't simply floundering in life. That although I don't know my exact path, it's okay for me to strive for more rather than settle and conform.

You see, that is the struggle. Conformity. It makes big cushy promises, but at what price? I want to have it all, but having it all the way society lays it out for us feels like such a loss. I don't want a cubicle; I want creativity. I want the beautiful house and lovable dogs; but I don't want to clock-in and waste my life living up to someone else's expectations.

My friend Crystal sent me a link to the insightful Briggs-Myers career test this morning, and it confirms everything I believe. This test pegs me as an Intuitive Feeling Type, aka The Idealist. It says that I am suited to be an event coordinator (which I've dabbled in), psychologist (I've been a Behavior Therapist with TUSD for years and my psych degree is in progress), photographer (a hobby of mine), an actor (while certainly not the best, I did graduate from high school as an honorary thespian of the International Thespian Society), and most importantly- a NOVELIST!

As some of you already know (and now I am speaking to a whole handful of readers, woohoo!), I officially set my sights on writing full-time just a few months ago. As a child I chose books over toys more often than not. I continued this love of the written word throughout my life, reading and writing as an emotional outlet, as a ticket to good grades, and as a way to define the growth of my personal being.

And now it's nearing the end of October, leading into National Novel Writing Month. During November, I will write a 175-page (50,000-word) novel that will be finished by midnight of the last day of the month.

* Do you like how I just made myself accountable to you???

So perhaps I really can have my cake and eat it too. If my personality is crying out for a non-conforming career that can allow me the freedom to be creative and use my precious time in ways that I find wise, why not go for it?!

2 comments:

  1. I'm so glad you liked the test I forwarded to you :) I'm always interested in those things just to see if I'm on the right pathway....normally I am, so that always gives me a little bit more reassurance when I feel like I'm going in circles.....

    BTW, I never replied to you about your idea with the autistic books....I don't know ANYTHING about the subject and how all that works, but I think it's a great idea and a good way to combine your creative talents, your writing abilities, and your training from you work, as well as something you are interested in and your sales abilities all into one career...it really does sound like it's right down your alley. :)

    And I think it's so amusing, although not surprising, that you and I ended up with the same personality type from that quiz....I think you and I are so similar, although different in unique ways, in what we like and our ambitions...which could explain why we've had so many business ventures together :)

    I wish you the best of luck and success :) :) ):

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